Optical Illusions:
Some other animals are hidden in the following
two pictures, what are they?
How to be happy (Chinese): Click here (PDF Format)
Poor user interface: Click to Magnify
What a coincidence:
Perception v.s. Reality: Click to Magnify
Stupid Questions from Stupid Lawyers
1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"
5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
6. "Did he kill you?"
7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
8. You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"
10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby)
was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None"
Q: "Were there any girls?"
12. "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
13. "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate
honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
14. "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"
15. "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
16. "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant
to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
17. "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
18. "All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
19. "Do you recall the time that you examined
the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy."
20. "You were shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
21. "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."
22: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere."
Chemistry Exam -
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student
was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues,
via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed)or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given
to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a
cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account
the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations
with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and will not freeze. The student received the only "A" given.
Playing with Words
We use the word "politics" to precisely describe our crazy process: "Poli" in Latin means "many" and "tics" means "bloodsucking creatures".
Chinese Composition 1
Click to magnify
Chinese Composition 2 -
Viewer Discretion Required
This is an example of stupid funny -
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to Magnify
